Day 40 of the wait

This sad face breaks my heart. I am so grateful to the family that took time out of their travel to visit our baby girl. Thank you so much. During our wait we want pictures and updates so bad. We beg and pray for updates. To be honest every new picture of Adaline only confirms my heart's desire and need to hold her and love her. Her eyes look so empty and void of love. She looks very unsure in each picture. I can't fathom what it's like to not have a mother that comes when you cry. To wake each morning and not be held. To go to bed at night and not be tucked in with kisses, a story, prayer or tickled till you squeal. The thought of it turning winter there and her spending one more night cold makes me nauseous. Not to be able to open the pantry and pull out gummies or the fridge and insist on milk like William does. I just want to hold this precious baby girl. I want to love her with everything in me. I can't wait for her to fill the PINK carseat in our suburban. To read to her. To hold her when she cries. Most of all I just want to see her smile. I even look forward to her getting fiesty with the boys in this house and them totally giving in. To watch my husband play barbies because Adaline said to. I CAN'T WAIT! Several people have said "what yall are doing, saving an orphan is great". It's totally not about saving an orphan. I'll admit its mostly selfish for me. I want to love more children in my home. That's the truth. The way these two Smith's will arrive happens to be through adoption. "Caring for the orphan" also happens to be written in the bible and God commands us to do it. Awesome! Selfishness and God's word usually don't line up but I'm going with it!!!
Today my prayer is for protection of Adaline and Wen till I can hold them! Oh, and please send our LOAs soon. I am completely in awe of how God has worked through this adoption process. It has been amazing....

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