The New Wen

Someone made the comment to me while checking out at Wal-Mart "I never see pictures of the boy you brought home". I responded with "he doesn't slow down or cheese for us". That was a true statement, but not entirely. The truth is our boy that we brought home was unhappy most days. As soon as we got home with him we found out that his ears were infected. As the days progressed things seemed to get worse instead of better. From the moment his little eyes opened he whined. The only time he was happy was when Daddy was holding him while walking around OUTSIDE. I'm really not being dramatic either. He was also happy eating as long as no one bothered him or moved around too much (getting a drink or new food). Anything we did at dinner time would bring instant tears. He wanted everyone else's drink or plate or napkin....Riding in the van anywhere has been really hard. He would whine at least half of the trip no matter how long the ride was. Sometimes it would progress to sobbing for long periods of time with the other kids yelling "Wen please hush". He has had a few good days or moments that we cherished, but were so tired from the rest of the time that we were not bonding well. Let me be very honest here, Wen and Mama were NOT bonding well. Wen adopted Brian from day one and Adaline adopted me. This was just for survival's sake in China. Now that we are home it has taken effort to bond with a baby that really doesn't prefer you or want you for that matter. During the whole adoption process you look at their pictures and pray for them and fall in love with them. WRONG, you fall in love with their picture and have thoughts of what they may be like or what their laugh sounds like. You dream of holding them and living happily ever after. You really don't think about the fact that they may be unhappy or that they may truly grieve their life before you.  Some days I really really tried hard to hold him and love him and be patient. Some days we just made it through. Please don't send me hate comments or be harsh in your judgement here. I was really beginning to question my parenting skills and wonder why the other four kids in our home seemed happy. Lots of prayers and pleading with God. I wanted to love Wen with all of me.

After almost two months home, and three rounds of antibiotic for his hurting ears, Wen got tubes and a second hearing test done. The ride home from the hospital was amazing. No crying or whining at all. That afternoon we even played outside some. He slept through the night and woke up with a smile on his face. Every morning for two months he has started his day with tears. Some of the mornings I have too. We had NO IDEA how bad his ears were affecting him. He plays without having to sit in someone's lap. He follows ME around the house to show me what he has made or just to make sure where I'm going. He is more than happy to eat, ride in the van, play Mr. Potatohead, trains, outside, inside, the bathtub....oh my he is just HAPPY(: and so is his Mama. I have loved him since I saw the very first picture of him. Now I am completely IN LOVE with this little fellow. I look forward to him waking up from his nap and finding me in the house. I love watching the four of them run laps in the house LOUDLY giggling. I just love him and I thank God for allowing me to be his Mama even on the bad days.